Tuesday, June 24, 2008

NOT Moving Day

Y'all, I am posting this because I have to post SOMETHING. It's been almost 2 months and I'm sure y'all are wondering what's going on. I'm sorry, actually ashamed, to say that it's NOT YET moving day. I've moved some things in. I have appliances. But who knew the list of little-yet-vital things could be so long. The number one item on that list - window screens. Since I won't be using air-conditioning, I HAVE to be able to open the window. And in the mosquito-ridden environment that is New Orleans, window screens are an absolute necessity. Anyway, I should have made them by now, but sometimes when you have mentally FINISHED something, it's hard to back-step and begin again. Such is the case with the screens.

I have moved on to other projects - I am now the Market Manager of two farmers markets (the Lower Ninth Ward Farmers Market and the Bayou Road Fresh Market), which is taking up more of my time than I ever expected. I've also taken my daughter out of daycare and have started a homeschooling cooperative with two other families, so I teach on varying days of the week. Mentally (and emotionally), I just don't have room for the house right now! Luckily, I came to terms with that today. And went over to Eddie's Ace Hardware on Downman Road and ordered the window screens. Done. And we should be in by next week. Even though the washer/dryer isn't properly hooked up yet and my hot water heater isn't working. I gotta move.

Sorry no photos, y'all. I have a ton, but haven't had a chance to look through, resize, and upload them. Next update, I'll definitely share photos. Most of the house looks decent. But there is so much yet to be done. My spirit waivers between elation and depression whenever I enter that house. At once, I am invincible and yet just an imperfect person. I have accomplished so much, but at the same time, not enough. It is a bittersweet feeling I'll most likely have for the next few years. I'm glad I did it, though. I challenged myself. I would've have regretted NOT doing this. I came. I saw. I did not conquer, but at least I tried. Ha ha!


Nneka said...

You did conquer! Despite all the obstacles you described in every post, you prevailed. The mission was to resuscitate your drowned little house and you accomplished that for sure. You are Super-Jenga, queen of the mountain (and the bayou) and I'm completely in awe of what you've done.

Sarah said...

Oddly enough, my most recent blog entry reports that we ARE in our home. It's a good thing, for sure. I feel much more centered than I have in a while.

But I will have to admit to envying the connectedness you have had to your home's process. For me, it's been a frenzy of decisions I never felt quite ready to make--choices that I am afraid reveal just how spoiled I am: whether to buy stainless or white appliances, for instance. You get the idea.

And when the process was ending (read: when we were breathing down the contractor's neck) I just wanted the crew out, out, OUT! I felt like strangers had been violating our home, even though they were the ones we had paid to get it all done. This is how it goes when renovation is a business transaction, I guess.

It was a labor of love, though, too. Even when I was agonizing over paint colors, I had home on the brain and in the heart. I don't want to dog myself too much for being so lucky as we've been.

But I will admit that I envy your physical connectedness to the process of renovation. You have had your wonderful hands in everything, and your house is a testament to your love and to your friends', family's, and community's support.

Jenga, I wish for you many cool summer nights for what you have done, not just for your own home, but for our home--our community. I know how agonizing it feels to be THIS CLOSE to done and then not yet. Hang in there. And feel free to stop by with A_ and the kids for some blessed A/C!

Kelly said...

The folks in the purple house, and me (I don't live in the purple house anymore!) think you are a PERFECT person. You should be proud of all the hard work and journey you've been on. Congrats on the Farmers Market gigs and home schooling - good stuff!

Love, Kelly

kenya said...

don't be so hard on yourself, jenga. you've done (and continue to do) far more than most people would have been able to! i'm so proud of you!

Mtume said...

"My spirit waivers between elation and depression.... I am invincible and yet imperfect.... I have accomplished so much, but at the same time, not enough. It is a bittersweet feeling.... I came. I saw. I did not conquer, but at least I tried."

Very inspirational words, Jenga, even if you didn't intend it so. I'm learning more and more that it isn't really the accomplishment that matters (not that you haven't accomplished A LOT), it's the trying. Good job. We're proud of you and of all the wonderful people who helped you along the way.

Coti said...

I think you have done an incredible job, who cares about conquering something you worked your butt off and that just makes you even more great!Mommy hood ofcourses comes first, what you are doing with the other families homeschooling I admire. I totally know the feeling of elation and depression all at the same time when it comes to the repairing process and I think it will be awhile before it goes away but it gets better I am in that same boat.
Take care,

Zenobia said...

Jenga, conquering is an ongoing task. It takes mad time to conquer in real life and you are making it happen--BIG TIME! You are a testament to what can be accomplished with the strength of will and a positive attitude (more often than not, right?). I am SO PROUD of what you have accomplished. What you have done is EXTRA EXTRA Ordinary, and beyond the scope of what most would ever even consider. The struggle still continues, but you are down to the last few battles. There is no real fight left in your opponent, but the battles must be fought out of formality. You have done it and are on the home stretch. We love you and admire you!!!

whitney said...

are we are ever really, truly finished with anything? i see this experience of working on your home not as having a finished product... what is the end result?? moving in?? i don't know, but i think it is more than that and i think it's a metaphor for life. we are continually working on it, fixing things, stepping back, moving forward, making progress, making changes, etc. it seems you are building your home and building the life you want at the same time. that is courageous. way to do it your way! celebrate this moment!

and, welcome to the world of teaching:) yes, i totally identify with you... it is emotionally and mentally demanding, but definitely has its rewards! we should exchange lesson plans:) we are teaching close to the same age group, right?